The Many Faces of Grief: Understanding the Different Types of Grief

When most people think of grief, they imagine someone mourning the death of a loved one. But here’s the thing: grief wears a thousand faces.

It shows up in ways that are loud, quiet, messy, numb, or even invisible to the outside world. It might feel like brain fog, rage, fatigue, or a total loss of identity. And sometimes, we don’t even recognize it as grief—because no one taught us that it could look like this.

At Griefology, we believe that naming what you’re feeling is a powerful first step. Understanding the different types of grief helps validate your experience, reduce shame, and remind you: you are not alone. So let’s break them down—not to box you in, but to give you language and insight as you navigate your loss.

1. Anticipatory Grief:  When the loss hasn’t happened yet

This is grief that begins before a death or major loss—like when a loved one is terminally ill or slowly fading due to Alzheimer’s. It’s the grief of watching, waiting, and knowing what’s coming. You’re already mourning even as you try to stay present.

You might feel sadness, guilt, or anxiety before the loss even occurs—and that’s still grief.

2. Disenfranchised Grief: When your grief isn’t recognized

Have you ever felt like your grief didn’t “count”? That’s disenfranchised grief. It happens when the world doesn’t validate your loss—like grieving an ex, a pet, a miscarriage, a foster child placed back with their bio family, or someone you weren’t “supposed” to love that deeply.

This grief often comes with silence, shame, or the pressure to “move on.” But your grief is valid—even when others don’t understand it.

3. Complicated Grief / Prolonged Grief Disorder: When grief gets stuck

Grief doesn’t have a deadline. But sometimes it feels impossible to move forward. Complicated grief is persistent, intense, and interferes with your ability to function long after the loss. You might feel numb, consumed by longing, or lost in time.

This doesn’t mean you’re doing grief “wrong.” It means you need more support—and that’s okay.

4. Ambiguous Grief: When there’s no clear ending

This kind of grief shows up when the person is physically here but emotionally or mentally gone—like with dementia, addiction, estrangement, or incarceration. Or maybe someone ghosted you or disappeared, and the lack of closure leaves you grieving what was, or what could have been.

You’re grieving someone who isn’t fully gone, and that’s a painful kind of limbo.

5. Cumulative Grief: When the losses just keep coming

Sometimes life doesn’t give you space to breathe between losses. A death, a breakup, a job loss, a big move—stacked one after another. This kind of grief feels like a wave that never stops crashing. No wonder you’re exhausted.

6. Delayed Grief: When it sneaks up on you later

You powered through. Handled the logistics. Stayed strong for everyone else. But now—weeks, months, or even years later—it hits. This is delayed grief, and it’s more common than people realize.

Just because your grief came late doesn’t make it less real.

7. Collective Grief: When we mourn together 

We all felt this during the pandemic, natural disasters, acts of racial violence, or mass tragedies. Collective grief happens when communities or entire societies experience loss at once. It reminds us how connected—and vulnerable—we really are.

8. Masked Grief: When it looks like something else 

Grief doesn’t always show up as tears. It can look like overworking, rage, anxiety, numbness, perfectionism, or even humor. Masked grief is when you’re grieving but don’t realize it. Your behaviors are carrying the grief for you.

If you’ve been feeling “off” but can’t name it, this might be part of your grief story.

9. Stigmatized Grief: When judgment makes it harder to grieve 

If you’ve lost someone to suicide, substance use, murder, or incarceration, you may have already felt this: the whispers, the awkward silences, the questions that aren’t really questions.

Instead of support, you get shame. Instead of comfort, curiosity. This kind of grief is especially isolating—and you deserve better.

10. Secondary Losses: When grief ripples into every part of life 

Grief doesn’t just take the person or thing you lost. It also takes your routines, your identity, your sense of safety or purpose. These are called secondary losses, and they hit just as hard—often in ways you weren’t expecting.

Why This Matters

If you’ve ever thought, “Is this even grief?”—this post is for you.

Because yes, it probably is.

Grief isn’t just about death. It’s about any kind of loss—big or small, tangible or invisible. Understanding the types of grief helps us name what’s happening, ask for the support we need, and offer ourselves compassion instead of judgment.

So whether your grief is loud or quiet, fresh or delayed, recognized or invisible:
It’s still grief. It still matters. And you still deserve support.

Want to Get Curious About Your Grief?

Download our Grief Mapping Worksheet to explore how grief is showing up in your body, mind, relationships, and routines. Grab it now under our Free Resources section ➡️

Or check out our Self-Care Menu to find grief-informed ways to rest, reset, and nourish yourself during the hardest days. Download the Self-Care Menu ➡️